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Question 1 of 10
1. Question
What’s the missing word in this joke?
A man was driving his car along the road in the countryside when suddenly a cockerel ran in front of his car. Unfortunately he couldn’t stop in time and he ran over the cockerel. The man stopped his car and walked to the farmhouse nearby.
“I’m terribly sorry,” said the man. “But I’ve just killed your cockerel. I realise he must be very important to you so I’d like to replace him.”
“Thanks for your offer,” said the farmer. “But I think I __________ to get another cockerel.”
Correct
Good start!
Incorrect
Ooops, not a great start…
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Question 2 of 10
2. Question
Which cartoon best matches this joke?
The RSPCA were ____ed in to investigate the death of a headmaster’s dog.
“Okay, so what ______ed?” asked the RSPCA man.
“I ____ed him, and then he died!” said the headmaster.
“Perhaps it was the s___ that you __ed,” said the RSPCA man.
“Perhaps it was,” said the headmaster. “Or perhaps it was the w______ m______ that he didn’t like.”Correct
Be careful or your head will get too big! Can you work out all the gaps as well?
Incorrect
Not this time…
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Question 3 of 10
3. Question
Can you match up the first and second parts of these jokes?
Sort elements
- “When I was a puppy.”
- “He called it ‘Spot’.”
- Friend: I would kick his dog and break his white stick.
- “I'm sorry, sir, but the chef has already opened the tin.”
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“Doctor, doctor, I keep thinking I’m a dog!” “Mmmm, when did this start?”
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“Did you hear about the headmaster who had a pet zebra?” “No.”
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Man: (in pub) What would you do if you caught another man in bed with your wife?
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“Waiter, I'd like to cancel my order for fresh fruit salad.”
Correct
Great work.
Incorrect
Bad luck.
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Question 4 of 10
4. Question
Can you put the following joke in the correct order?
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A headmaster had always wanted a pair of crocodile shoes.
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One day he got the opportunity to go on a safari down the River Nile.
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After three days the headmaster saw the crocodile that he wanted, and, with a knife between his teeth, he dived into the water.
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For three days and three nights, the headmaster fought with the crocodile.
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Finally the headmaster killed the crocodile and pulled him onto the bank of the river.
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The headmaster rolled the crocodile onto its back and then started crying.
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“What's wrong? What's wrong?” shouted his friend.
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“Look! “ shouted the headmaster. “He isn't wearing any shoes!”
Correct
Great work – that was not easy.
Incorrect
Oh dear – well it was a tough one.
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Question 5 of 10
5. Question
What is the correct order of the four words missing from this joke?
A headmaster had a job as a porter in a hotel.
“It’s very important that you welcome the guests by name,” the manager told him.
“But how am I supposed to know their names?” complained the headmaster.
“It’s easy,” said the manager. “People _______ _________ _________ __________ names written on their suitcases.”
That evening, the headmaster welcomed his first guests, “Good evening Mr and Mrs Samsonite!”
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almost
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always
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have
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their
Correct
Incorrect
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Question 6 of 10
6. Question
What’s the punchline to this joke?
Correct
What good ears you have – and brains of course.
Incorrect
Too much wax in those ears of yours perhaps?
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Question 7 of 10
7. Question
What word is missing from this joke? It is the same word in all three gaps.
A man went into a chemist’s. “I’d like something for my _________ please,” he said. The chemist gave him some laxatives. “I don’t want these!” the man complained. “I’ve got a _________!” “Believe me,” said the chemist. “If you take these you won’t dare _________.”
Correct
Have you considered medicine as a career?
Incorrect
Not this time I’m afraid.
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Question 8 of 10
8. Question
Can you put the following joke in the correct order?
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A headmaster was in court charged with stealing a television.
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The judge said, “It is my opinion that there is insufficient evidence to prove that the accused is guilty of the aforementioned crime.”
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“What did he say?” the headmaster asked his barrister.
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“He said he thinks you're not guilty. He says you can go free.”
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“That's great!” shouted the headmaster.
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“Can I keep the television as well?”
Correct
Excellent work. You clearly have a great future ahead of you.
Incorrect
Bad luck – that one was pretty tough.
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Question 9 of 10
9. Question
Can you match up the first and second part of the jokes?
Sort elements
- “A waterproof watch.”
- “Well, it wasn't very pleased.”
- A teabag.
- Mummy said she'd give me 50p if I didn't mention your big nose.
- Some plastic flowers and a picture of the dog, same as always.
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“Is your wife going to buy you a dishwasher for Christmas, Eric?” “No, she said we must save energy.” “So what is she going to buy you?”
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“I had my dog shot yesterday.” “Was it mad?”
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What goes in dry and comes out wet?
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You're quiet today, Jenny.
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What's on television tonight?
Correct
Wow, if you were American, the CIA would want you to work for them. Perhaps you are American – and perhaps you do…
Incorrect
Darn, why are they all so difficult?
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Question 10 of 10
10. Question
Listen to the final joke. What’s the punchline?
Correct
Did anyone tell you that you have beautiful ears?
Incorrect
Oh well, at least it’s all over…